The Beginning of Sorrow

The thing about tragedies is that they catch you by surprise.  You get up in the morning and lazily eat breakfast as if you have all the time in the world.  You pick out something to wear (as if it mattered), and lackadaisically wander through the routine of a morning.  You think your meaningless thoughts, [...]

In the Well with Tolstoy

My brother’s suicide left me feeling as if I had been pushed over an emotional cliff, arms flailing as my body hit the jagged edges of rock outcroppings on the way down. The suicide of my father felt like I had been tied to the front of a runaway train that broke away from the [...]

It’s Too Late – She’s Come Undone

I could say I didn’t see it coming.  Except that I did.  I worried and fretted and tried to talk to other family members about my fears.  I saw signs, and I especially tried to warn my mother.  She didn’t even have her name on their joint checking account.  What would she do if anything [...]

Shades of Grey

I recently found that the link to my guest blog post on Lucinda Bassett’s website was broken.  It turns out that she designed a new website to go with the theme of her upcoming book, “Truth Be Told.”  I am a featured guest blogger on her site.  Here is the fixed link to my original [...]

Potted Mums and Forget Me Nots

A few days after my brother killed himself, I went to the apartment he had shared with his wife and two-year-old daughter.  I was attempting to help his widow, who was also one of my closest girlfriends, pack up the apartment.  She was moving back home with her mother.  I was moving through my own [...]

The Beginning of Sorrows

The thing about tragedies is that they can catch you by surprise.  You get up in the morning and lazily eat breakfast as if you have all the time in the world.  You pick out something to wear (as if it mattered), and lackadaisically wander through the routine of a morning.  You think your meaningless [...]

Free Fall

(If you are new to this blog, a good way to read it is to start with the very first post, “It Was A Dark And Stormy Night.”  This is a memoir, the story of my life.  If you are offended by expletives, you may want to skip this post.  I do not use them [...]

Shades of Grey

A link to my first blog post on Lucinda Bassett’s blog, Truth Be Told:   http://luncindabassetttruthbetold.blogspot.com/2012_10_01_archive.html (Having problems with links.  Copy and paste into address bar please) This is a blog post about how I dealt with the suicides of both my brother and my father.  These events will be coming up soon in “Light [...]

Family Legacy

Every family has a legacy.  Passed down through ancestors and on to us are continuations of family trusts, heirloom furnishings, or even good solid surnames. My own family legacy left me none of those things. It left the legacy of suicide. Long before I was born my grandmother stumbled upon the lifeless body of her [...]