All the World Wide Web’s A Stage

I was pumped to the max. An IV drew a heavy-duty dose of steroids from a plastic bag and into my veins so my brain wouldn’t swell too much. I felt my thoughts levitating while my body beneath lie there, unable to move at all. But my mind…whew whoooo!  Look out world! I imagined myself [...]

An Incidental Finding?

That last semester at college seemed the longest one of all. Senioritis hit me just as hard as it hit all the eighteen to twenty-somethings aching to be done and on their way to the next big adventure. And it seemed I had saved some of my hardest courses for last. A professor who had [...]

Just One Word

On May 5, 2000, I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my neck. I wrote about that in my last post. Here is the rest of the story.   I woke with a start. My body was screaming with pain from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I [...]

That Big Expanse of Sky Called Montana

Adventure had never been a part of my life. While some of my childhood friends had come home from trips to the World’s Fair or from far away mystery places like “back east” to see their grandparents, my only claim to fame was that we had stayed at the Motel Fresno (located in farming country [...]

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

What does a neglectful childhood in an alcoholic family, a stint in juvenile hall, The Beatles, gang-bangers and prostitutes, teen marriage and motherhood, the state mental hospital, gang rape, life on the streets, rock and roll and a decade of drug abuse, battering, serious mental illness, the suicides of a brother and father, divorce, a [...]

The Cage Door Swings

With my husband gone, I had to think about options.  I had not been able to work in about twelve years.  What had started out as simple panic attacks had turned into agoraphobia and raging, suicidal depression with psychotic features, all of which had been exacerbated by grief and despair.  My condition had improved somewhat [...]

Broken Pickers

Well folks, now you know the worst of it (see post ~ In the Well With Tolstoy).  Being a creative type, I sometimes imagine something worse happening to me in the future, but thankfully, so far, nothing has come close to losing my brother and father to suicide.  Sometimes I still catch myself waiting for [...]

In the Well with Tolstoy

My brother’s suicide left me feeling as if I had been pushed over an emotional cliff, arms flailing as my body hit the jagged edges of rock outcroppings on the way down. The suicide of my father felt like I had been tied to the front of a runaway train that broke away from the [...]

Dazed and Confused

When I was fifteen I had a couple of experiences that would shape my expectations of how God works in the lives of those who love and follow after him.  On a warm spring Sunday morning in 1967, I asked Jesus to come into my heart in the living room of a woman everybody called [...]

His Eye is on the Sparrow

I had been pacing around the apartment for days.  Once again I walked to the window and peered through the glass, hoping I would see Robert, walking up the sidewalk.  I told myself that it was possible a mistake had been made, and that my brother, as soon as he woke from a coma in [...]