With my husband gone, I had to think about options. I had not been able to work in about twelve years. What had started out as simple panic attacks had turned into agoraphobia and raging, suicidal depression with psychotic features, all of which had been exacerbated by grief[…]

With the events this past week concerning one, Harvey Weinstein, I have decided to repost this piece of memoir. I did not tell anyone about the following events for years. I was sure what happened to me was every bit my fault. I believed in many cases, women got[…]

Note: One and one-half years after my psychiatrist left me hopeless (Click here), my dear brother took his own life when he was twenty-five years old. This event would define the rest of my life. There is the “before” Robert died, and the “after” Robert died. I was[…]

Close to the Edge

  I had run from Michael the Archangel in 1973 and was living with my rescuer for about a year. At first, I felt relieved and somewhat settled. I knew I had some post traumatic stress symptoms. For instance, when my boyfriend attempted to put his arm around[…]

“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35 KJV). This, the shortest verse in the King James version of the Bible, used to perplex me. Jesus waited four days after hearing his good friend Lazarus was sick before coming to see how he was. By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been[…]

Man raping woman.

I had fled the confines of Norwalk State Hospital and planted a mattress on the floor in the spare room of my parents’ apartment, a fresh start of sorts. I determined to get my act together and make it all work for me and my sweet little boy.[…]

The Looney Bin

Metropolitan State Hospital in Norwalk, California had suddenly become my new home (see 3:3 ~ The Looney Bin). My parents cared for my baby while I was there. They told me, “You need help.” I entered the intake process a little excited about someone taking charge of me[…]

Hiding from Michael the Archangel, but mental illness would find me.

I had finally gotten away from Michael the Archangel (See prior post). Once the taxi dropped me off at my new friend Skip’s apartment and he got over the shock that I actually showed up, he helped us get settled in. I sat on his couch shaking like[…]

My eldest son, Bruce, was now aware that I would need brain surgery in order to save my own life. There was something powerful about taking matters into my own hands after a neurosurgeon told me there was no hope, but I knew that without God’s help, I[…]

One of the themes of my memoir is codependency. If you read my book (when it is published, of course), you will notice that I seem to flit from one relationship to the next. It started when I was fifteen-years-old. I met a guy who was five years[…]